I’m a massive cat lover. My childhood cat Phoebe is 19 years old and one of the loves of my life. I even wrote a post about the lessons she’s taught me. She’s still going strong and hopefully has a lot purrs left in her.
While I was in Bali earlier this fall, I was delighted to come across a catfe (cat cafe)! I couldn’t have dreamed of a better place to do some writing from. When I first walked in my senses were overloaded by cuteness and I could barely contain my squees! All the cats were insanely fluffy, gorgeous Persians.
After ordering my green juice, I began pursuing the cats hard. I wanted so badly to cuddle up with one while I worked on my book. Plus, I though it would make for a pretty damn cute Instagram! Because I grew up with cats I feel like I’m pretty good at approaching them, but my overzealousness got in the way and each time I tried to get a cat to come cuddle me it bolted.
It happened over and over again and it was even more disheartening because there was another couple smugly sitting on a sofa with 2 cats snuggling up to them. I was starting to take it personally and a little jealous. For a moment I thought maybe these cats were just adorable assholes!
But then I realized something. I needed to chill the F out and let the cats come to me. So I did exactly that. I sat on a floor cushion, opened up my MacBook and began typing away. I was still looking around at the kitties with love eyes from time to time, but my focus wasn’t on forcing them to come to me.
After about 10 mins or so, one of the cutest ones there started to gingerly make its way towards me. It came onto my lap for a little cuddle and then jumped right on my keyboard…as cats always do. It then sprawled out within petting distance while purring loudly. So my dream basically came true.
This little catfe example came up in conversation recently with one of my girlfriends. She was talking about a guy she liked, but felt she was maybe coming on a little too strong. She didn’t know how to show she was interested without scaring him away.
I told her I was prettttty sure that men are the same as cats! If you go around trying to pick one up because you want cuddles so badly, they will only stick around for a short time before they get scared off. You have to instead show them you’re interested, chill out and let them come to you. When I told her my catfe experience we both had a good laugh but agreed it was true.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the catfe example can be applied universally. When you go after things too aggressively, and try to control situation it doesn’t work out favourably…or at least not for very long.
I saw Gabrielle Bernstein speak in Vancouver a few weeks ago. I’ve been following Gabby for a while and have read a few of her books. Her new book is called the Universe Has Your Back and she talking about her writing process and experience.
What struck me the most was the amount of times she mentioned surrender. She said there’s been so many times in her life where she’s tried to control a situation and force things to be a certain way. What the book is about is surrendering to a force greater than your own and allowing what will be to be.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this idea lately. When you’re an A-type entrepreneur it’s easy to get caught up in “making shit happen” mode. I find this is especially true for me when it’s this time of year, and Make It is quickly approaching. My mindset is no different than trudging around the catfe and trying to make all the kitties cuddle me.
But, I’m reminded that in order to get what I truly want I can only do so much and then step aside to a force beyond my own to take over. Mediation has been a big part of my life for many years, and I find it helps me to allow for the loving universal energy to do its thing.
Next time you are going after metaphorical fluffy kitties, take a moment, chill, and let them come to you! Your experience will be more loving, authentic and be more than you could ever create on your own.