A few nights ago I hosted a Self-Love community circle at Conscious Lab. Although it was smaller than past circles, the conversation was deep, vulnerable and full of so much wisdom. When we share our human experience there’s so much healing and beauty that comes from it. I can only speak for myself, but I felt that the 2 hours of listening and sharing shifted so much for me. As I walked home I felt a feeling a levity and joy.
Today is Valentine’s Day, which can be one of those holidays that many people are critical of, and cringe at. I felt the same way for a long time – especially when I was single. Now I’m engaged to an amazing man, which changes the nature of how I experience Valentine’s Day – but one thing hasn’t changed. I can only experience love with other people to the extent I can experience it within myself.
During the circle, we explored many ideas including the way we speak to ourselves when no one is around. This is something that can be challenging to reflect on because so much of our internal dialog is subconscious and programmed deep within us. The words we use internally can feel so automatic and ingrained, it’s hard to sometimes recognize them.
Many of the words we use to talk to ourselves aren’t even our own. They are a combination of all the outside influences from those who we allow to impact our lives. I also believe there’s a collective consciousness that we tune into oftentimes without knowing we are doing it. If you’re around negative energy, you will start to pick up on it, and your thoughts will subconsciously change as a result.
So what does this mean? It means that self-love is a choice we must make every in every moment. There’s an opportunity to choose a more loving thought, and build a strong and beautiful relationship with yourself with every breath in, and every breath out. One of the women at the circle wisely stated that self-love IS the path of least resistence. I agree with this statement, but it doesn’t make it easy.
With most things in life, doing what feels best in our bodies must be an active choice. Just like eating good food, exercising, reading enlightening books and engaging in meaningful conversation. Self-love is no different. If we’er not deliberate in choosing the tape we want to hear in our minds, it will choose us.
The decision of soul sovereignty can set us free!
However you decide to celebrate Valentine’s Day, or if you choose to celebrate at all, make your priority to be gentle, kind and loving to yourself. The relationship you build and cultivate is one you’ll have for the rest of your life so you might as well start strengthening it today.
For me, it’s about listening to myself. Do I want this, do I not want that? Sometimes it’s subtle, but I find the more I’m an advocate for my own happiness and wellbeing the stronger the love within myself grows. It’s also paying attention to my desires and not allowing them to be influenced by those around me. Not always an easy practice, but I’m getting better at listening to myself first, and others second. Also actively dropping “the guilt.” This is a BIG topic in itself, but one I want to explore in the future. Stay tuned.
I would love to know your thoughts and comments on the ideas I’ve shared. What is your definition of self-love and how do you practice it?